Your Big Kid Sleep Questions, Answered
Question: How do I determine when it’s okay to drop my child’s nap?
As your toddler continues to grow, their sleep needs will begin to change. The most restorative sleep for your child is the sleep they get overnight. When that sleep starts to get shorter and/or disrupted, it may be time for your child to drop their nap. Below are a few signs that it’s probably time for the nap to go:
- Your child is between ages 3 and 5.
- You spend hours trying to get your child to fall asleep for their nap. When they finally fall asleep, it’s 3 or 4 p.m. (which you know will lead to bedtime struggles!).
- Bedtime starts to creep later and later, or your child cannot fall asleep until well beyond 8 p.m. Or, bedtime becomes a fight!
- Your child starts waking throughout the night and/or begins to wake up much earlier than normal.
Okay, so I’ve determined that it’s time to drop the nap. But please tell me how?!
Don’t worry, we've got you.
- Expect an icky phase. Know that all nap transitions are just that – transitions – and they can take some time. Sometimes, it can take up to a month to get into a good groove. That’s okay and normal.
- Try to get your little one to bed earlier during this transition - even 30-minutes can help. By doing this you prevent your child from becoming overtired. Your child will likely be quite tired by late afternoon as they adjust. Whatever you do, don’t let them fall asleep! Instead, help them get to bed super early (sometimes even as early as 6 p.m.) to make up for the lack of daytime sleep.
- Implement quiet time. Just because your child is giving up their nap doesn’t mean they no longer need some down-time. Set aside a minimum of one hour each day for your child to take a time out from their busy little life (and yours!).
- Be patient. Remember, this is a developmental stage for your child. They are growing up. Be patient as they work through this transition.
Question: My child falls asleep after school, should I let them sleep?
Some children fall asleep after a full day of kindergarten -- their little brains are just so overloaded with the excitement and challenges of the day that they need a break. This may work fine for some children, but others have trouble falling asleep at night after that short (or long) nap.
If this is the case for your child, as tempting as it can be to leave them be, try hard to keep them awake. If they fall asleep in the car where you simply can’t keep them awake, make sure the nap is less than thirty minutes. Plan for a very early bedtime. Some children at this age may need a bedtime as early as 5:30 or 6 pm. Rest assured it won’t last forever. As they grow more accustomed to their busy days at school they will need less sleep, though it can take a few months or more. Make sure to keep the sleeping routine consistent on weekends. As fun as it is to stay up, they need you to keep bedtime consistent so that they can function at their best on weekdays. That means no weekend naps and no late nights, unfortunately. Save your exciting adventures for weekend mornings and plan for restful evenings for your youngster. This will ensure that they are at their best for school and home!
Question: My child crawls into my bed in the middle of the night! Any advice?
If you have a child who gets up in the night to crawl into bed with you, you are not alone. It may not even seem like a big deal for your child to get up and come into your room, however, that 5 minutes of moving from one bed to another is disruptive to your child’s sleep, as well as your own. The key to your child being well-rested is setting clear and consistent boundaries.
Children under 5 years of age are natural explorers and boundary testers. That is how they learn how the world works. Firm boundaries help your children trust that their parents have their best interest at heart and that they mean what they say.
When your child wakes in the night and comes into your bed to sleep you must decide if this is something that you are ok with or not. Young children do not understand “sometimes” so you need to be consistent with either allowing them into your bed or sending them back to their own bed. If you do not wish for your child to sleep in your bed, you must never allow it. If your child believes that there is a chance you will allow it, they will continue to come into your bedroom in hopes that you will let them in.
Parents often offer too much attention when their child is awake during the night. Any attention can be perceived as a reward to a small child so it is important to quietly walk your child back to their bedroom, say good-night and return to your bed. It may take several attempts, but your child will soon discover that there is no reward for getting up and coming into your bedroom. The game will become tiring and eventually your child will stay in bed.
It will likely take multiple nights of returning your child to their own bed throughout the night before you see improvement. It can be an exhausting process so it is important to remind yourself that it will be worth it. Soon your child will remain in their own bed for the entire night.